Night came too soon and I can’t fall asleep.
You must understand, I’m a little girl, I’m full of energy, I’m growing. I can’t sleep.
Now I don’t know about you, but whenever I can’t sleep my mind gets to wandering. It’ll go places I don’t want it to go, places I didn’t even know it could go.
And whenever I try to stop it from going those places all I get instead is the struggle.
The struggle? You can’t hear it? The streetlamps fight with the darkness.
The silence of night fights with the murmur of a million souls. I mean people, of course I mean people. I’m only eight. I wouldn’t say souls.
And I know I shouldn’t feel the struggle.
But I do.
My name is Djill. I go to school where the Sprawl meets Shopping. Upperclass.
I live near the Urban Rec area. I live in the Heart of all Things.
Actually I don’t, not yet. I live on my street and I live by the two bus-stops I see every day. Going to school on my own. My parents love me, I’m pretty sure of this. I also think that this is why they’ve yet to let me see more of the city. Trust, a lack of trust, and love.
When I get on the bus I’m right there with a lot of my friends. And my enemies. I mean co-students, of course. I wouldn’t say enemies.
Windows, I always sit by the windows, look out at the streets, at the people, at the roads going to and fro. All those possibilities.
That, actually is one of those things that I try not to think about. When I can’t sleep, right?
I don’t really know what they try and teach me at school. I really am not sure.
All I know is that I’m supposed to pay attention to this person who stands tall above us.
When my mind wanders, I think about possibilities. What if I didn’t make the regular bus one morning? D’ya ever think about stuff like that? About ‘if’s?
All I seem to think about are ‘if’s. ‘Till I fall asleep.
Then there are no more ‘if’s. Or ‘and’s or ‘but’s.
Night came too soon tonight. I couldn’t fall asleep. What if I’d had a good run, played with one of my friends, fought with one of my enemies?
Then maybe I wouldn’t have told you all of this. Then maybe you wouldn’t know.
And knowledge is power. And power makes the world go around.
Something tells me I shouldn’t know that. But I do.
My name is Djill, and I’m just another little girl who takes the bus every morning.
But my eyes are open.
